Irony

5, 5:00, 6, 6:15, and 6:30 I snoozed the alarm for the fifth time. Jarring and Overwhelming Monday morning realized that my son missed his band rehearsal. I was supposed to drop him at school by 7 am.

Oh god! I have to be ready with a reason to reply back his music teacher for the absent email.

9 am – after sending my younger son to school, I am about to relax on the couch, his lunch box is smiling at me from the dining table.

Bitterly regretting my irresponsibility, I dropped the lunch box at the school and came back home. My phone chimes. It was a message from my friend. She appreciated my blog post, and she wants me to write a post on ‘Parenting.’

What an irony? 🙂 .

Her suggestion is I should write tips to be a great mom.
Even the word ‘Great Mom’ is a little skeptical for me.

The question of ‘Am I a good mom?’ arises within us mainly based on the below fact.
Moms are judging other moms, and they are being judged too.
Whether we’re judging others, or feeling judged, at its core, a judgment is an opinion or decision based on thoughts, feelings, and evidence. We make hundreds of them every day. It varies from person to person.
What feels right to me may be wrong to you. There are no ideal ways here. It mainly comes to what we believe.

I always look at my family and friends as a reference for my parenting. I mentioned it as a reference because what they feel, believe, and encounter will be completely different than mine.

My Mother-in-law spent the most time in helping others than spending time with her own kids.
My Mom was very busy with her household chores and hosting guests than analyzing the family problems.
My Friend is not very strict about her Kid’s education.
My Cousin never interfered in his daughter’s decision from childhood.
My Aunt spent most of the time cleaning the house.
My Grandmother’s way of parenting is feeding delicious food to kids.

So what you call each one of them.
Mother-in-law – irresponsible
Mother – Monotonous
My Friend – Careless
My Cousin – Lenient
My Aunt – Cleaning freak
My Grandmother – Old School

Guess how it turned out to be
My husband and my two sisters-in-law are friendly and warm-hearted people I have ever known. Their big hearts are always appreciated by all the friends and relatives.
My friend’s son is known for his sportsmanship, he will treat both success and loss alike.
My niece learned the value of good and bad from a decision. She mastered the art of decision making.
My cousin is a successful you tuber with several thousand followers. Her Channel is about housekeeping, home decor, and gardening.
I have the nature of bounce back from any issue faster than dwelling over the problems.
We all in our family have good taste over food. We eat tasty and healthy food, and we all are good cooks because of our grandma.

All these moms never planned these traits for their kids. Our children’s first influence is us the parents. What we do and believe brings a big impact on their life.
But they are also several other factors like
Child’s inherent nature,
the way the parents brought up,
Culture,
geographical location,
the family belief system,
challenges and accomplishments faced by parents,
physical health,
they are n number of factors involved.

Mom – Child combination is unique. So we can’t define or suggest particular steps to become a good mom.
Please stop blaming yourselves for all the Kid’s issues, behaviors, and troubles. There are times you will feel guilty about how you handle a certain situation, but no one else can love your children the way you love them.

So
Stop the Cycle of Comparison
Trust the process
Evaluate your expectations

Motherhood is a choice we make every day to put our Kid’s happiness and wellbeing ahead of our own
to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you are not sure what the right thing is… 🙂

We can be a mess and still be a good mom. We are allowed to be both.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Dedicating the post to all moms. All moms are Great!!!