The Other Side

Hectic day, back to back calls. Thanks to my boss, he canceled the 1.30 pm meeting so I can cook something for lunch. My younger son forgot to join the online class at 1.15 pm. I rushed to his room and stumbled upon the lego pieces that were all over the floor. I yelled at him and finally connected to the zoom and gave the teacher an innocent smile. The teacher replied, “It happens 🙂 .” After the class, I asked him to clean them immediately and grounded him from playing legos for one week.

It was 8 pm Sunday. I realized I had no milk at home. I rushed to the store and returned to the parking lot; there were only four cars. The streets looked deserted as it is a cold Sunday night. I started driving, and was about to take a right turn. When I am waiting to yield, I heard a honk from behind. I can’t rush so I waited and took a turn, within seconds the jeep behind me raced me on the other lane and the guy driving it shouting at me. I got scared, went fast, entered our street, and finally got rid of the jeep.

One weekend I completed my shopping at Walmart. When I was about to reach the exit door, I got a call from my friend.I was talking to her as I collected my bags and was returning to my car. An old lady who was walking and checking her handbag didn’t notice me.We are very close as we both are in our world. Suddenly realizing this to avoid the collision, I just moved a few steps away in fear that I will dash on to her and started walking. She started yelling at me on the road amidst the busy Saturday shopping crowd.

I invited people for a Navaratri due to covid most of them called ahead to inform that they would not come. So only three guests are scheduled to arrive. I was very busy with work, kids, cooking, and preparations I got a call from one of a friend I missed it and thought I could return the call the next day assuming that she is giving a courtesy call to inform me that she will not be able to come.

You may be perplexed as these are four separate incidents and what I am trying to express. All the above narrations are only one part of the story. Let’s see how it ended.

The same night I was reading a story to my younger son and playing on his bed. My son pointed out to me at his table. Amazing, he recreated the front picture of a Lego toy box. I was ashamed. I hugged him and said sorry.

The car kept pace with me on the other lane for about half a mile, I was able to see his expression and lip movement, but I was petrified to open the windows. Those two minutes, my mind filled with different emotions.  The country we are in, the stories we heard about bullying and racism, dark and deserted night. Once I took a turn towards my home, I lost the car. I was relieved, and within two seconds, I realized it was pitch dark. I could not see the road ahead. That second I realized that I didn’t switch on my headlights. I felt embarrassed.

I took few steps away from the old lady because in covid it is always good to maintain a social distance and that too older adults are less immune and I may be asymptotic, and I should not spread that to her that’s the only reason in my mind. But she misinterpreted and assumed I am racist, and she started yelling.

On that Navarathri night, three of my friends came, and we are chatting having a good time; one friend revealed that the friend who gave me the courtesy call lost her mom due to covid. I am very much devastated.

What is the essence of life?
What matters the most?
My son’s creativity or my sulking
My safety or my fear
The old lady’s life or discrimination
and my friend’s loss or conjecture.

Our knowledge is turning against us. We are applying our logical mind in all scenarios and boasting that we are on the path of advancement. These are not a science experiments to apply all logics, theories, and formulae to arrive at a conclusion or assumptions.

Our assumptions are limited based on our knowledge and exposure. Based on that, we are arriving at conclusions before we speak or act. We can’t think about all the consequences before we speak or act, but we should not assume before we act or speak.

Above all, please realize and investigate when such incidents happen. Those are not on the fly gestures, expressions, acts, and thoughts; it is the primary sense of humanity. Thinking is difficult that is why most people judge or assume.

Allen Alda quotes

” Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in. “

When you judge another, you do not define them; you define yourself. – Wyne Dyer

Dedicating this post to my chithi a simple discussion with her led to this topic 🙂 . Thanks to her and my friends for remainding and motivating me to write.

Please feel free to share your experineces that ended up interesting based on your assumptions.